Wandering and Gathering: The Power of Connecting with Nature and Being Present in Grief
Being in the moment creates space and helps you find connection within yourself. The present is where our body, our spirit, and our emotions exist. Love also exists in the present. Life exists in the present. Sometimes, even often, our mind wants to pull us into the past or into the future, taking us out of the present moment. Love is a ritual where we bring our intention and attention into the present moment to the things we care about. Grief itself is a ritual of love, where you show up to care for your connection with your Loved One.
Wandering and gathering helps you be in the moment. Allowing your focus to soften, gently directing your intention and attention to nature and found treasures, the ritual of bringing yourself into the moment — these are all ways to support your grief. Everyone's grief is completely different. Your grief is your own, unique experience. You have the right to your own way of grieving. Finding ways to collect and honor our feelings in grief, without getting overwhelmed, can help us navigate life after loss.
The Practice of Wandering and Gathering
Wandering and gathering brings our attention into the present moment. The present is where we feel all of our feelings and where we are connected to everything. Wandering allows us to move into a state of oneness with nature, non-linear time, and the wonder of nature and life. Gathering allows us an activity that can soothe and gently distract while keeping us in touch with our feelings as we explore and navigate what it means to grieve this loss.
Even if we have experienced loss before, each loss holds its own unique and precious space. Grief has many feelings that can show up when we least expect it, in many and various forms that intertwine many feelings at once — often unbidden. We all have many feelings inside of us, especially in grief. Even with sadness, there is still love. Even with fear, there are still happy memories and joy. Even with longing, there is still connection.
What You Gather
Our feelings in grief are always evolving and changing. You can use your gathering bag to go on a nature walk and look for things that represent how you feel in that moment. A rock or crystal might make you feel safe, or represent a burden, or it may be just a really interesting rock. A leaf could remind us of the transience of life, or it could represent a lightness of heart, or maybe you just like the shape and the color. A twig could represent connection, or fragility, or call to mind a magic wand. Gather items with intention and ease, the way a bird sources many things to create its nest. Place items in your bag as you meander and connect with nature.
Collecting and gathering things that call to us, inspire us, or reflect different feelings or aspects of our grief can help us sort our feelings and handle them one at a time, instead of a confusing cacophony of sounds without a conductor. As you walk outside, gather items without judgment or pressure, just allowing anything that you notice spontaneously. No need to overthink it.
Presence Instead of Problem-Solving
Gathering takes us out of striving to fix, problem-solve grief, or push to "do something about it." It allows us to just be with our feelings with quiet compassion. Finding and creating moments — as best we can — where you can be in the present with your feelings is a powerful way to create more capacity to navigate grief. We can find ways to move through it and with it, not against it.
To do this, we need to bring our awareness front and center — sometimes to just the tiny little things in front of us, things that support, things that mirror, things that connect. There is no right or wrong here, no judgment, just presence, where we allow nature and external objects to help support us, to carry some of the burden, and to bring some love and reflection.
Gathering is gentle and easy, and we do it naturally; we evolved to always be fully awake and aware of our surroundings. The sounds of the ocean, a creek, or a river meant water and life. An opening in the rock could signal life-saving shelter. The wind carried soft scents of rich earth, the safety and nourishment of forests and trees. If we heard birdsong millennia ago, we knew we were in a place where it was safe to stop and linger. Birds have long been symbols of our connection with Loved Ones on the other side. Their winged form represents the ability to travel from "the heavens" to earth and back again, and they are often considered spiritual messengers. Many people feel bird sightings are a connection with Loved Ones.
Wandering and Gathering Wherever You Are
Part of the ritual of presence is spending time preparing and gathering. If you can't get into nature, take your wandering and gathering mindset with you wherever you go. Perhaps you find a feather on a windowsill that creates a moment of connection, or a penny or playing card on the street or sidewalk, or even in the back of a drawer. You can add crystals, mementos, and little pieces that represent the multifaceted aspect of grief to your bag, that remind you that we never let go of our Loved Ones; the connection and the love always exist.
We've started you with a rose quartz crystal, formed deep inside the earth, to symbolize unconditional loving support; a feather to honor your connection; and your first felt heart of the subscription series, to remind you that the love goes on.
Releasing What No Longer Serves You
Releasing things that no longer serve us — like old fears, guilt, invasive imagery, or blame — is part of healthy grieving. But if you notice looping, negative, or fearful thoughts taking up too much space in your mind, it is very supportive to find some balance. You may find that one item in your bag feels like it is ready to be released back into nature or the world. Maybe that item can represent something that no longer serves you, like a fear, an anxiety, or even a perspective that no longer fits.
Sometimes anxious thoughts or intrusive memories take us far from the present, disrupting our peace of mind and our ability to feel our feelings in healthy and balanced ways. I've included a guided meditation of easy, non-striving release that may help you navigate intrusive thoughts as they arise. I also have some nature sounds in the file that are soothing and peaceful reminders that the Earth holds us in grounded support as we love.
Support can come in the form of others caring about you, making space to connect with your Loved One who has passed, and even from parts of yourself. Mother Earth is the original source of unconditional love and support, and can bring great comfort, presence, peace, and grounding when we are grieving.
This is your journey. This is your experience. Don't let anyone else tell you how it needs to go. You have the right to grieve the way you grieve — and if you find yourself overwhelmed, always ask for support.
Drawing from ancient and modern healing arts, and everything from ritual to art therapy, movement, and active imagination work, she shares her powerful, heart-centered wisdom and experiences in conscious, trauma-informed, holistic grief support with other empathic, emotionally mature women who are called to help others.
With much love, Pamela
After decades of study in trauma, grief, holistic health and wellness, and numerous losses that included her mother, father, close family, dear friends, close colleagues, and beloved pets, she has created a unique protocol, combining the latest grief coaching techniques, with hypnotherapy, art therapy, breathing work, movement therapies, and a deep connection to nature and animals; to create a profound and revolutionary, truly holistic method of helping people navigate their grief well. Her main goal: to train others to be of compassionate, conscious service to those in loss and grief.
Pamela is the force behind all that Mourning Goods brings to our time: purposefully designed condolence products, interactive creative journals, holistic grief books, grief podcasts, coaching, workshops, and programs for the grieving, and support and certification courses for new grief coaches.
Those looking to help others can find her life changing work on helping others through her books, podcasts, and online workshops and certification courses. Grievers can find support through her workshops, books, and mailclubs for grievers.
She lives quite happily in the woods of Elfin Forest, Southern California co-creating a peaceful, deeply connected, semi-feral life with cats, dogs, horses, trees, hawks, and hummingbirds.
